Teardrops On My Guitar
by AssassinCheshireCat
Summary: Now that they were together she hoped that she knew, how lucky she was to have Kanda hold her in his arms and look at her with those beautiful eyes. Eyes that were always searching for her, Alma./ KandaxAlma onesided fem.AllenxKanda
1. Teardrops On My Guitar

**"Teardrops On My Guitar" – Onesided Kanda x Fem. Allen, Alma x Kanda**

_Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see_  
_That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be_  
_I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about_  
_And she's got everything that I have to live without_

Allen sighed as she sat there bound in chains and spells from the Crows. She sat there with nothing to do but to go through all her memories of good times. For soon the 14th will destroy her whole existence like she had never lived. Allen remembered the times when Lavi would play pranks, Lenalee would destroy all her brother's Koumrins, Jerry would make the best food she had ever tasted, and other things that really made her life worth living every single day.

Tears slipped down her face. _'Kanda...' _Allen remembered all the times he would call her 'Moyashi.' she was always mad that he would never call her by name nor did she not like that he was a complete jerk. But...despite that she fallen in love with him, completely idioticly in love. She had figured it out right after she had saved everyone in the ark. She had been so relieved that Kanda had survived that she had finally realized the feelings that she had for Kanda was...love. Ever since she had been separated from him to go on the search for Master Cross, all she could think about was Kanda.

But due to recent events she wondered if she should have fallen in love in the first place...when he already had a special person in his heart. Allen remembers when they went on their first mission together in Mater. When Kanda was asked why he wouldn't die he reply that he had to find 'that person' first. At first she ignored it but now just thinking about it he was talking about Alma wasn't he?

_Drew talks to me, I laugh 'cause it's just so funny_  
_And I can't even see anyone when he's with me_  
_He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,_  
_I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night_

Allen remembers the times when they fought, she would laugh at his mad expression and taunt him making him only madder. She would also get lost in how beautiful he was and forget the presence of other people around them.

But when Kanda mention 'that person' again. She got disappointed and excuse herself to go to her room saying she wasn't feeling well. She laid on her bed and cried not knowing why herself. She laid there for almost half the night thinking about him.

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar_  
_The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star_  
_He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do_

She would go to the piano room and play a sweet melody thinking of Kanda. It wasn't the 14th's song but a tune to her love for Kanda, a love she could never have. But just like in all those fairytales that Mana use to read before she went to sleep every night, where the princess would wish on a star for her true love. It was almost like playing the unknown melody, was like wishing on a star for it to come true. Even though she knew it was pointless since how could he ever love her?

_Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?_  
_And there he goes, so perfectly,_  
_The kind of flawless I wish I could be_  
_She better hold him tight, give him all her love_  
_Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause_

Allen leaned her head against the wall behind her, staring up at the stone tiles on the ceiling as more tears fell from her eyes silently. She remembered when she would be aimlessly walking through the Order's halls with no destination in mind. And Kanda would past her taking her breath away, with his proud and beautiful walk. The way his hair would flawlessly sway with the rhythm in his step.

Kanda was so flawless and beautiful with his perfect skin and long black soft hair that any girl would be jealous of. But when she remembers how freakish she looked it only made her heart hurt more. Since how could someone has perfect as Kanda ever love someone so freakish? She had seen the women Kanda had loved in the past, she was so pretty and she looked so kind, she is perfect for him. And now that they were together she hoped that she knew how lucky she was to have Kanda hold her in his arms and look at her with those beautiful eyes. Eyes that were always searching for her, Alma.

_So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light_  
_I'll put his picture down and maybe_  
_Get some sleep tonight_

It was never meant to be anyway, we're complete different with different opinions. Even though they say opposites attract, it's not always true. And besides no one can really find true love in life because no one is a perfect prince with a white horse, ready to save the princess from the dragon and then ride with her into the sunset to live happily ever after. She has always wished that would happen to her when she was growing up under the apprenticeship of Master Cross. That a prince like the one in the storybooks Mana would read to her, would save her from her horrible cruel life and take her away to live happily ever after.

But she gave up a long time ago of finding true love with a perfect prince charming. Besides who would ever love a freak like her. No guy would ever approach her for her appearance, but she didn't want a guy to like her for her outside appearance but for just being herself.

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar_  
_The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart_  
_He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do_  
_He's the time taken up, but there's never enough_  
_And he's all that I need to fall into._

Tears fall down her face as she remembered that he was probably dead or if he was alive, he probably won't come back since he is free now. She sniffed and smiled a little at that thought, that at least he was happy and free with the person he loves. Though she felt a slight pain of jealously and sadness at not being the one that he loves. Who would have known that the person he hates the most would fall for him.

Allen wiped the tears from her eyes as she laughed bitterly. Even though she has wasted all this time thinking about him, truthfully a jerk like him doesn't deserve her love but...that's what she thought before he had thanked her, calling her by her name. At that time she had convinced herself that he loved Alma so he didn't deserve her but when he had said her name it was a beautiful moment that will always be in her heart. Because that was the first time he had ever said her name and he said it so beautifully._  
_

But even if she never sees him again, and even if she does and he rejects her. She'll just wait for him since she has never this way about anyone before, besides he has been looking for Alma a long time now. Anyway soon Allen will be no more and Neah the 14th will take over. And so what would be the point of actually confessing to him if she won't be there to love him, if he does love her. She would just hurt him by confessing and then turning into the 14th, and then having to fight Neah who would be controlling her body.

Maybe it's a good thing if she doesn't confess. Well for now until she sinks down into that pit of darkness that is death, he will be there in her dreams with no Alma. But her to love him, and he to love her. Allen closed her eyes and fell into a sleep filled with dreams of a happily ever after with Kanda as her prince.

_Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see._

* * *

**A/N: **Well I hope enjoyed it. This my first time doing a song fic, and it looks like it turned out pretty good. Poor fem. Allen really this makes want to write a second chapter where it's actually happy and they get together. The song fic happens after the Alma arc and before Allen runs away if you didn't figure it out, but I think it was obvious. Actually I had wrote this a few months ago but I didn't really write ending until today. I might actually write a happy second chapter now I just have to find the right song, but I think I have a idea. So review and tell me if I should have this a one-shot or a two-shot._  
_


	2. If It Ain't One Thing It's You

** '****If It Ain't One Thing (It's You)'** By: Alan Jackson– Kanda x Fem. Allen, Past Alma x Kanda

_Well I guess it's just not my day_  
_ The wind blew my morning paper away_  
_ Then I cut my toe on a sliver of glass_  
_ From the stormdoor you broke when you left here so fast_

As Kanda drink until he was drunk in another bar that he gone to with Johnny, to find Allen. He thought about what had happened these past few months. When he had finally found his long lost love and he had been alone with her until the last moments. Alma had told me that she loved me and that she was glad they were alone, when she died.

What surprised me was what she said next. That at first she wanted me to die together with her but...then she told me how happy she was that I had made friends with someone other then her, someone who could care for me. Someone who I could actually have a normal life with. I asked her who she was talking about. And she said the one who cared enough to send both us here together alone. The Beansprout. She said she had feelings for me. And that's why she wanted me to be happy. The Beansprout had feelings for me? I felt like Alma was making a joke. But why would someone be joking when they are on their death bed? Especially if the person they were joking to was their love.

_If it ain't one thing it's you_  
_If you've heard that I'm going crazy_  
_It's true_  
_The wheels seem to fall off whatever I do_  
_If it ain't one thing_  
_It's you_

Now that he thought about it...it would explain why when he would pass her in the hallways of the Order, he could feel her lingering gaze on him, that he pretend not to know. And he remember that one time on the Ark when he had come back from certain death, and the Beansprout looked so relieved and happy. He was so surprised then when he heard that the most beautiful singing that he had ever heard, that made him feel weird inside, belonged to the Beansprout. _  
_

Kanda couldn't believe it himself. Until a few days later when he had actually heard her singing again. Something inside felt warm and comfortable at her voice. But he denied that he had any attraction toward the idiot Beansprout. When he had first met her the reason he was irritated by just seeing her was because he had thought he had only felt this toward Alma. Sometimes the idiot Beansprout would pop up in his mind for no reason but just to make him hate her more.

_Well I rented that movie you hate_  
_But that old VCR just chewed up the tape_  
_Then I went to the freezer thought I'd cook me a steak_  
_All I found was that old piece of our wedding cake_

Now he is sitting and drinking the stuff the idiot Beansprout always hated and couldn't stand. All because he had to find her so all these crazy thoughts and feelings about would finally end. Alma is the one that made him finally realized that she was just his old life's love, that it doesn't in this new life he would find the same love. So that meant that in this life it isn't Alma that he loves it's truly Allen that stole his cold heart. _  
_

_If it ain't one thing it's you_  
_If you've heard that I'm going crazy_  
_It's true_  
_The wheels seem to fall off whatever I do_  
_If it ain't one thing_  
_It's you_

As Kanda drink another drink he felt himself getting drunk every second. All the memories of him and Allen played in his head like a broken record. As he watched people around him eating and drinking he was remind how Allen would eat like a mountain of food. And every time drinking was mention Allen would turn into 'Black Allen', as the idiot Rabbit like to name it.

As he closed his eyes and fell into a drunken sleep flashes of Allen would appear in his brain. Sometimes of her brilliant sliver eyes or her short white hair that looks like a boys. And others of when he would follow Allen to the ark, and sat there listening to her sing or play, without even knowing why he was there himself. Of when he wanted to hold her close when she cried and comfort her. All the things that were nothing of how he really acted around. He would just put a mask for everyone to see even though inside it was completely different.

_But I never knew that I needed you so_  
_But now that I've lost you, I can't let you go_

And who would thought the idiot Beansprout was the one to make him feel this way. When all along he had thought it was Alma, it made his heart hurt to think that all because he hadn't listened to his heart, that now the Beansprout probably really did hate him. Now as he sat here on a couch holding Allen's hand as Johnny was out. _  
_

He couldn't help but think when she did wake up that she'll never Allen again, but the 14th. If he had known sooner about his feelings for her then he could have confess to her. And he could have somehow stop her turning into one of the Noahs. But it probably been impossible anyway, but if there was still a chance to get her back then he would do it. But for now he could hope when she did wake up that she wasn't a Noah and that he can finally see her smiling face again as he confess to her.

But he had promised himself that if she woke up as the 14th and tried to kill us, then he would kill her himself. No matter how much that would hurt him, he would know that she is never coming back and the person in her body was just a stranger. But even if that did came to be then he would have two loves already but, he'll promise himself that he'll love anyone else ever again. Since no one could replace Alma or the little idiot Beansprout that had somehow stolen his freezing cold heart.

_If it ain't one thing oh it's you_  
_If you've heard that I'm going crazy_  
_It's true_  
_The wheels seem to fall off whatever I do_  
_If it ain't one thing_  
_It's you_  
_Oh if it ain't one thing_  
_It's you_

* * *

**A/N:** I really hoped you enjoyed this chapter. I hope I kept Kanda in character and also Alma. I was gonna make them get together but I think it's better like this. It took me awhile to find the right song for this, but I think it fits perfectly. Well review and tell me what you think.** _  
_**


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